Problems Making Friends

One of the main tasks of being a teenagers is establishing meaningful friendships and relationships with peers outside the family.  Teenagers feel a need to switch from having their parents and families as their sole source of self esteem to deriving their self esteem from their actual abilities and being accepted and valued within their group of friends.  This does not mean that they stop benefiting from their relationships with their family.  It means that they seek more balance and diversity in their sources of self worth.  If teenagers have trouble making or keeping friends their self esteem usually takes a big hit.

As a parent it can be very difficult to see your child suffering because of trouble making friends.  Some parents tend to try to compensate for this by attempting to take the place of friends in their teenagers' lives.  Although this is very well intentioned it has the potential to make things worse for teenagers.  Being best friends with mom, dad, grandpa, or grandma does not help teenagers make friends their own age and trying to force that on them can make your teenager into a social pariah that is seen as babyish in comparison to others.  

Difficulty making friends often goes hand in hand with difficulty developing romantic interests.  This is another skill that teenagers should be practicing.  If they are too shy or awkward this trouble with romantic relationships can last well into adulthood.   

Learning to develop and maintain satisfying relationships with others is essential for happiness.  If your teenager is having a hard time with this the sooner it is addressed the better for their future.  This involves teenagers learning to express themselves well and strengthening their self esteem. Schedule a free consultation to learn more about how conseling can help your son or daughter develop these crucial life skills. 

By Miguel Brown